...Sometimes the light's all shining on me
Other times I can barely see
Lately it occurs to me
What a long strange trip it's been..."Truckin'" by the Grateful Dead
For the last two weeks, I've been on deadline, getting Swan and Iris out. When I wasn't crunching that out, oh, holy crap, was I in hell. You know, the slice reserved for other people, that you walk through with them, but doesn't happen to you.
Orion had a lump beneath his ear. Vet honest: at his age, lymphoma a very real threat. Not a good candidate for chemo between being 13 and having a heart murmur. Through my tears, I sobbed that if it were the worst case scenario, no treatment, keep him comfortable, and reevaluate as needed.
The biopsy was inconclusive because of the inflammation, but the cells didn't clump together as they do in the presence of dark forces. His white cells were elevated, but all else seemed fine. He's on a course of antibiotics and some herbs to clean his lymph system out. I chose not to repeat the biopsy at the followup visit--he's been acting fine, eating, dragging me on two 45 minute walks a day. So I told her that I was satisfied that it was an infection, and that we would leave it go at that. There's been no change to the swellings. The herbs will just take time.
For now, we choose to be in the moment, we choose to be at peace. We choose, too, potato chips. They're not just for breakfast anymore.