Mel and Lindsay Do Their Patriotic Duty

     I have a working theory on the ongoing sagas of Mel Gibson and Lindsay Lohan. It's a conspiracy to divert our collective attention from what's going on in the world.  
     No, really. What's more interesting, trainwrecks or ongoing environmental damage? Two actors who had half the world at their disposal before the heady mixture of ego and mood altering agents seeped into their lives, or a group of fanatics who use the same logic as the Taliban to push their agenda? She's going to jail on Tuesday for ninety days (more likely three weeks before getting trundled off to a rehab spa). His latest round of alleged misbehavior is under investigation, and ABC reported that the tapes his girlfriend leaked may have been doctored.
     In my darker moments, I wonder if they don't get paid for pulling stunts like that by some covert office in Washington.  A little known department of the CIA, say. ("Mr. Gibson, your country needs you..." "Ms. Lohan, we need you to serve as a distraction....") Of course, they'd get handsome rewards for it.
      Even if it doesn't take that much to distract the unsuspecting public.